Jacksonville resident Trisha Meili is probably best known not by name, but rather for the brutal and nearly fatal attack she suffered and survived 23 years ago as the Central Park jogger.
She is scheduled to talk about it tonight at Theatre Jacksonville in a benefit for the Women’s Center of Jacksonville. The event begins with a reception at 5:30 p.m. and her presentation follows at 6:45 p.m.
“The fundamental message is that we can all do so much more than we ever thought possible,” Meili said in an interview last week.
“For me it’s a message of resilience and really hope and possibility so that regardless of what our challenges are, yes, we can move forward with our lives,” she said.
At the age of 28, Meili went for a run in 1989 in New York’s Central Park. She was found near death from a brutal beating and rape. She lost 80 percent of her blood, suffered a traumatic brain injury and severe exposure, and she was in a coma for 12 days.
She was delirious and has no memony of the following four weeks, either.
Now 51, Meili is a motivational speaker. She moved to Jacksonville two years ago and lives in Riverside.
She authored the 2003 best-seller, “I Am the Central Park Jogger, A Story of Hope and Possibility.” Her website is www.centralparkjogger.com.
“I am going to share some lessons that I learned through my own healing that still apply today. Those challenges don’t stop,” said Meili.
Meili is the third and final speaker in the Women’s Center of Jacksonville 2012 Speaker Series, “Women, Words and Wisdom.”
Ticket prices are $40. Meili will sign books after the event. For information about the program, visit www.womenscenterofjax.org or call 722-3000.
One lesson, for example, is that “sometimes, the simple things work. Keep going back to them,” she said.
“One is the importance of support. I am so grateful for all the support that I received and I realize how that isn’t always necessarily the case.
“My story got so much publicity. That’s also why I value organizations like the Women’s Center because they provide that support,” she said.
She said the support is important not only for victims, but also for their families and friends.
“That was crucial to my family during my situation because for six weeks, I have no memory of what was going on,” she said.
While she couldn’t accept the initial counseling because of her condition, her family was assisted.
Her website shares information about the book and the attack.
“Shortly after 9 p.m. on April 19, 1989, a young woman, out for her run in New York’s Central Park, was bludgeoned, raped, sodomized, and beaten so savagely that doctors despaired for her life and a horrified nation cried out in pain and outrage. I am that woman, until now known only as the Central Park Jogger, and this is my story,” she wrote.
“At 5 p.m. on the day of the assault, I turned down a dinner invitation from a friend because I had too much work to do at the office. This was not unusual. At age twenty-eight, I was on the fast track at Salomon Brothers, one of the top-tier investment banks on Wall Street, and often worked late; it was one way to stay on the track.”
Meili writes that reports from that time allege that between eight and 15 teenagers, part of a larger group, “spot a young woman jogging alone along the 102nd Street crossdrive. There they tackle her, punch her, and hit her with a sharp object. Soon they drag her down into a ravine where one of the teenagers rips off her jogging pants.
“The woman is in excellent condition, and she kicks and scratches at them, screaming wildly; it is difficult to pin down her arms and legs. Finally, she is hit in the left side of the face with a brick or rock. Her eye socket shatters and she stops fighting and screaming.”
Meili said last week that she also wants to raise awareness that sexual assault happens, any time of day and in “all kinds of different places.”
While there have been convictions that have been vacated and a serial rapist linked to her attack, Meili said the case is still in the courts. “There is no conclusion,” she said.
“For my own health, I had to come to terms that I will never know what happened to me that night,” she said.
Another lesson she wants to share is the power of the present moment. During her recovery, that was all she could focus on because of the brain injury.
“I was reflecting back on my recovery that worrying about the future and wishing for something is not going to help your situation right now.
“Getting caught up in the past is not going to help your situation,” she said.
“That doesn’t mean we can’t learn from the past or plan for the future, but you have to focus on what you are doing in the present moment to change the future,” she said.
She said that because of her brain injury, she initially was not able to absorb all that was taking place around her.
“All I could do was focus on the present. In reflecting on it, I see the power that gave me because I wasn’t getting all caught up in what happened,” she said.
“I didn’t have the fear about the future because I focused on what was in front of me. By doing that, I was able to get healthier and get better,” Meili said.
Meili turned 29 during her recovery.
“It was quite a joyous one. I was still in a wheelchair and could walk, but I had a shaved head. But things were getting better. It was a joyful afternoon,” she said.
Meili said she doesn’t think about the attack every day, but there are reminders.
“Sometimes I do get frustrated or angry because I do feel the effects of the brain injury. Thankfully, I have very subtle effects that most often people would never even know,” she said.
She said yoga helps her with balance and she struggles with other senses, “but it is amazing how the body can compensate.”
Meili also wants people to realize that she, like others, can become overwhelmed with life events.
“That is when I have to be able to recognize that I need to wait a minute, take a step back, take that deep breath, go for that quiet walk, sit there and try to help gain perspective,” she said.
“And what I found is that kind of a practice is useful for everybody,” she said.
“Part of the healing process is learning you are human and learning to accept some things,” she said.
“It’s easy to set high expectations and not meet them. Part of the healing process is to accept yourself,” she said.
Meili said she and her husband, who have been married 15 years, still see themselves as newlyweds. They moved to Jacksonville from Connecticut after an April 2009 visit to speak at Naval Submarine Base Kings Bay in Georgia.
They had looked along the East Coast for a site without the rough winters. Both work from home.
“We just fell in love with Riverside and the neighborhood and being able to walk to a lot of places,” she said.
Meili said she gives 15-20 presentations a year and that spring and fall are the busiest times.
“I love to do it. I continue to get the feedback of ‘don’t stop doing this, we need to hear the message,’” she said.
“On the sexual assault side, the message is you’re not responsible for what happened and don’t feel that blame because it’s not your fault. It was someone else’s decision to do what they did,” she said.
Meili still runs, but not with the same compulsion she once did. She is a strong believer in the value of exercise in moderation.
“One of the ironies of my situation is that that compulsion with exercise almost killed me but it also helped save my life,” she said.
“I lost about 80 percent of my blood and my doctors told me most people die. My heart was strong enough to pump what little blood was left to my brain,” she said.
As a motivational speaker, Meili said that people ask if she was angry.
“I say of course I was angry, but I put most of my energy into my healing and it’s one of those things I learned along the way,” she said.
“I couldn’t control that it happened to me. It happened, but I could control how I responded.”
She also said that medical care was vital, but prayers and support also made a difference.
“I want to make sure that I get it through people’s heads about the value of reaching out to other people and the difference it makes,” she said.
“We can do more than we ever thought possible. Reach out in whatever way feels right to you. Send a card, say a prayer, offer a good intention, volunteer or write that check. It makes such a difference to help other people heal.”
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