by Mike Sharkey
Staff Writer
Former Florida Supreme Court Justice Major B. Harding set the tone immediately: Hank Coxe — local trial attorney, legal legend, Bedell Firm partner, rumored State Attorney candidate and Florida Bar President — was going to get it good from five of his longtime friends and peers.
“He’s going to be roasted and basted to perfection,” said Harding, one of five who skewered Coxe Thursday night at the Hyatt in a roast sponsored by Jacksonville Lawyer Magazine with the proceeds to benefit Jacksonville Area Legal Aid.
Hundreds attended the roast including peers from both sides of the courtroom, judges, friends and family. Coxe’s roasters included Harding, Bedell Firm partner David Barksdale, retired educator Chuck Badger, State Attorney Harry Shorstein and Orlando attorney Mayanne Downs of the law firm of Blackwell, Downs & Zehnder.
For about an hour, Coxe was poked fun at, shown in “compromising” photos, ribbed about everything from his appearance to whether or not the old gas station story is legitimate and his tenure as Bar president.
The following are just sampling of the zingers, anonymously of course:
• “I suggested to Hank since he was young and single and had nothing to do if he’d like to come and stay with my kids.”
• “I struggled not to bring a beer with me to the podium.”
• “He is the bane of my existence.”
• “Pumping gas and being an attorney just don’t correlate.”
• “For as long as I can remember, there is no gas station on that corner. So, he’s not telling the truth.”
• “Hank was hired and shortly thereafter the State Attorney was forced to resign.”
• “He constantly looks like Hunter S. Thompson.”
• “By expertise I don’t mean to suggest Suwanee is a good school. It’s a finishing school for the dilettantes not smart enough to get into Vanderbilt.”
• “Does anybody know what that break was for? It was cigarette time.”
• “It is true that Hank survives entirely on peanuts, coffee and red wine. The last time he had a vegetable was during Reagan’s first term.”
• “On three separate occasions the Downtown Ambassadors have tried to schoo Hank off the steps of the Bedell Firm.”
• He’ll call you at 2 or 3 in the morning and say, hey buddy, what are you doing?”
• “A special day at the Bedell Firm is when he tells a story about himself telling a story and he’s doing it in the fourth person.”
• “Hank’s ego is a ravaging monster that threatens to devour everything in its path.”
• “Hank’s early focus was actually in the marching band. As you can see, Hank at 16 looking like he really does at 59.”
• “Practicing with Hank is like making sausage: the outcome is often tasty, but the process is horrible.”
• “Hank is committed to doing pro bono cases and having me do all the work.”