by Arthur Hernandez
Special to the Daily Record
Ten years ago, while training intensely for the undisputed title of “Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Champion” of an undisclosed gated community, over a Fourth of July day celebration, several neighborhood women challenged my manhood by saying that I couldn’t ride 150 miles for Multiple Sclerosis.
The pitiful truth is that my female neighbors were correct at the time. However, for the past 10 years, while most of you were eating your fifth hot dog or downing your 19th, beer during Labor Day weekend, I was beginning my Tour de Farce-like training for this two-day, 150 (actually its more like 164 miles) mile bike ride from St. Augustine to Daytona Beach and back.
I’m usually invited to train with my friend Dr. Antonio (not his real name), and his well-organized hospital team. Dr. Antonio and his teammates all look like movie stars or cover models for the Tour de France. They are all your typical looking strong bike riders — tall, lean with legs that pump like pistons. They have "abs of steel that you could bounce a quarter off" I'm told.
When I told my wife, she quickly said I look like a TV star and now star of the big, big screen . . . “Homer Simpson,” and that “I can hide a roll of quarters in my abs.” I was not intimidated nor amused. Yet, in clear defiance of medical science, I’ve been able to ride the past 10 years and I’ve still managed to gain 10 pounds of muscle. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Every year, I dust off my “road bike” and take off my training wheels. My “road bike” is older than my son. When I arrived early on a Saturday morning to a local bike shop on Hendricks to attempt a 30-mile ride, all of the other riders are in complete awe and utter disbelief, as they can’t believe I would ride such an old steel frame bike. All of the other bike riders had special bike equipment like light weight bike frames, aerodynamic helmets, racing goggles and gloves, tight bike jerseys, spandex shorts and funny looking shoes.
My doctor friend (yes, I do have some that I don't have to subpoena or pay a witness fee) took one look at me and politely recommended that I get "some clips." I told him that I had left my clips on the potato chip bag at home and that I wasn't particularly hungry. He also suggested that I get rid of the black dress socks. I was told that "Image is everything!" (Must be a typical plaintiff's attorney comment!).
We promptly left the bike shop at 7:30 a.m. There were about 75 riders in a rainbow of colors traveling in a blur, south on Hendricks Avenue. I was only able to keep up with them for a few miles (okay, a few feet), because they decided to "crank it up." I knew the training course path and continued to ride with my team of "me, myself and I." I figured these conditions would be similar on September 29 and 30, so I'd better get used to it. Number one is a lonely number.
About an hour later and five miles into my ride I saw all of the riders heading north. I figured I didn't have to ride all the way to the half-way point just to rest and turn around. I was much smarter than that. I could just turn around then.
As I turned north I immediately realized that I didn't have the previous luxury, as now I was riding into a slight head wind which decreased my speed. I almost caught up to the old lady with the walker by San Jose Country Club. My voice was beginning to change and I sounded like Michael Jackson. I also felt like I was undergoing some sort of weird prostrate exam with a telephone pole. By the time I made it back to the bike shop, I called Dr. Antonio who was on the back nine of some golf course at the beach. He encouraged me to continue to train as "We were riding for those who can't."
Dr. Antonio told me: “Multiple Sclerosis is a chronic, unpredictable and often disabling disease that attacks the nervous system. Symptoms may be as mild as numbness of the limbs or as severe as paralysis or loss of vision. Most people diagnosed with MS, are between the ages of 20 to 50, but the unpredictable physical and emotional side effects can be lifelong. The progression, severity and specific symptoms of MS can not be predicted. A person with MS does not know when it will strike, what symptoms they will have, when it will become worse or better, or if they will be permanently disabled."
Any slight discomfort that I’ve felt or will feel from these rides, pales in comparison to this disease. I again call upon members of the legal community to ride for this cause or any other team of your choice in support of this cause. If you can not ride, you should volunteer and support those riders that do participate. If you can not ride or volunteer, please make a financial contribution to the National MS Society on behalf of the “Wheels of Justice” at the following Web site: bikefln.nationalmssociety.org.