by Fred Seely
Editor
What about a real estate company that promises this to sellers:
“Don’t like the price other agents want to sell your home for? Neither do we. We promise to list your house for a higher price than you can get any other agent to commit to. We know it won’t sell for that amount but that’s not why we do it. We deliberately overinflate the listing price to win your business. We can worry about realistic pricing after you are stuck with us. We have the whole contract period to get you to lower the price to a realistic amount. But hey, it’s fun to dream, isn’t it? And we cater to dreamers.”
And what about that same company’s pitch to buyers?
“Don’t know where to start or what to expect? Good! Don’t worry. Let us to take care of it for you! We specialize in unsuspecting homebuyers that don’t put much effort into selecting an agent. We follow most of the Realtor’s Code of Ethics and know how to get around the rest so you can trust us to put your interests just right behind ours.”
Want to join that company? Here’s part of the “agent training program:”
“• Learn about the law and the Realtor’s Code of Ethics and how to get around them.
“• Gain useful phrases like: ‘Yes, I work part-time, but it’s quality that counts, not quantity.’
“• Learn how to effectively dodge phone calls and other forms of communication.
“• Learn the secrets for overpromising and underdelivering.
“• Find out just how much you can convincingly overprice a listing to win the client’s listing.”
How about a testimonial from an agent?
“I started working here three months ago and already I’ve been with the company longer than 80 percent of all the other agents. I’ve learned so many things like misrepresenting myself to the client, taking credit for listings that I didn’t sell, using the Do-Not-Call list to prospect for new business and so much more that I’m not legally able to talk about at the moment.”
And a testimonial from a client:
“I thought it would be easier to use all of the professionals that our agent recommended for our inspections and I also made the mistake of using their mortgage lender, too. I found out that the home inspector was the agent’s cousin, and the mortgage lender gave my agent $5,000 to win my business. Now I have a home I can’t afford and a loan with a 12 percent interest rate.”
What’s going on here?
It’s the (obviously) fictional company called Really Rotten Realty and it’s the marketing device that a Dallas-Fort Worth businessman named Bill Petrey uses to lure prospective buyers to his AgentHarvest company that matches buyers with agents. If a home is sold because of the matching, Petrey gets a percentage of the commission.
“I was looking for a way to show how bad an agent could be,” said Petrey from his Texas office. “And, I wanted to make life as hard as possible for the bad agents. I wanted to show the lies and deceits that we all know, and this was an entertaining way to do it.”
The site “went up” at the middle of last month and the reaction has been astounding, he said. The boost came when Inman News ran a story and then a national real estate website linked to it.
“It obviously resonates with people,” said Petrey. “Every agent has a horror story. I put real world examples in a different context.”
His website, www.reallyrottenrealty.com, looks real if you take only a cursory glance. But, then you note the authentic-looking yard sign that says “Still for sale.” And the smiling agent is proudly holding an “Unsold” sign. (He found photos on the internet and changed the wording.)
Petrey’s pitch for his company is “Avoid really rotten agents” and he lays on the satire:
On promises to sellers:
“We tell you what you want to hear! That’s why we lie to you and tell you what you want to hear. We’re the ‘good news’ agency. You’re happy to hear good news, and we’re more than happy to tell it to you.”
On their marketing:
“We believe in the 3-P’s of real estate marketing: Put, Put and Pray. Put a sign in the yard, Put it on MLS and then Pray someone will come along and buy it. We usually find that after enough time passes, and after several price drops the house usually sells itself without too much intervention from us. That’s an easy commission earned. We like easy.”
On using the Multiple Listing Service:
“We advertise all of our listings on MLS. Since we only take one picture, if any, and use the same canned phrases for each house we sell, we can get your house quickly listed on MLS in a few days. If you want accuracy, then expect it to take longer. We also create a home information flyer for every house we list. Actually, it’s the same flyer with just a few items changed to make you think we designed it just for you.”
On open houses:
“We’ve never actually sold a listing by holding open houses, but we have attracted lots of new customers to our agency by using our client’s homes for our own personal gain. Plus, it’s fun to rummage through our client’s personal belongings and if we’re lucky there might even be something good in the refrigerator.”
And, to get in touch with Really Rotten Realty:
“We know you want to hire an agent that is easily reachable by phone. That’s why our voicemail is available 24/7. Our auto-attendant automated phone menu system has over 57 menu options available for your convenience. We hope you’ll take the time to hear all 57 of them. You’ll also love our extensive collection of on-hold music selections.”
Petrey has several websites and blogs and he’s planning more on Really Rotten Realty.
“People have been sending me statistics on really bad agents, like those who have a listing for over a year and don’t sell,” he said. “Maybe I should be in the web business.”