There are moments in each of our lives that make us think about what really matters to us. I seem to have had more than my share of those moments this past week.
On Monday, my wife and I took our 10-year old son to his first day of school for the new school year. On the way to school, I called my secretary to let her know that I might be running a few minutes late for our regular department status meeting.
After I finished my call, Spencer told me that it meant a lot to him that I would be late to a meeting to take him to his first day of school. It struck me that although nobody at the office would much notice or care that I was late for a relatively insignificant meeting, Spencer will probably remember for a long time that his father took the time to be with him on an important day in his life.
When I arrived at the office that same Monday, I learned that a friend and colleague of mine had become very seriously ill over the weekend. When I think about my friend and all that his family is going through during this terribly difficult time, it further reminds me that we need to keep our work in perspective and never forget that our families, our friends, our faith, and our health are what really matters in our lives.
The practice of law is a very rewarding, but incredibly demanding profession. No job is without its pressures, but our profession seems to take an inordinate toll on many of us. All of us who have practiced for any length of time have known colleagues whose marital or family relationships, physical or mental health or personal well-being have been adversely affected by the demands of the profession.
What makes the practice of law so exacting on us? Certainly there are long hours, the need to juggle many tasks at one time and the constant pressure to maintain and develop business, but those demands are not unique to our profession. I believe, however, that there are two particular aspects of the practice of law that are especially difficult for many of us to manage.
First, the very nature of our profession requires that we help solve the problems or achieve the goals of our clients. In doing so, good lawyers often develop very close relationships with their clients and begin to identify so closely with their needs that they forget that the problems and goals are really the client’s and not their own. These lawyers often do this at the expense of dealing with the problems or fulfilling the ambitions in their own lives.
Second, too many lawyers define themselves by their professional lives. Their entire self-image is tied to their successes or failures in their practice. These lawyers view their success in a case or a transaction as a validation of their worth as a person. They view any failures in their practice as an indictment of themselves.
How do we avoid falling into these traps? We need to always do all we can to zealously represent our clients as required by the tenets of our profession. At the end of the day, however, we need to be able to leave our work behind us and go home to our loved ones. We need to make time for our family, our friends, our faith and our own health and well-being. It has often been said that nobody on his or her deathbed has ever lamented not having spent enough time at the office.
There is an amazing life waiting for you outside of your office. It can be beautiful, heartbreaking, hilarious, rewarding, frustrating, peaceful, and often times, far too short. Do not let it pass you by.