by Liz Daube
Staff Writer
A variety of businesswomen gathered to hear “Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul” co-author Marci Shimoff talk about priorities and stress relief for the Executive Women International’s Advancing Women breakfast at the Hyatt Thursday.
According to Shimoff, four main factors can cause women to feel drained, overloaded and unhappy: work, kids, communicating (especially with men) and finances. She said women often have trouble balancing the demands of their work and personal lives.
“Women think of themselves last,” said Shimoff. “They tend to get overwhelmed.”
She listed three key ways for women to avoid stress and reach their full potential: high self-esteem, loving support and a sense of humor.
Shimoff used a variety of statistics and stories to prove her points and show how people can overcome obstacles. For example, two-thirds of all adults suffer from low self-esteem, she said. Disparaging thoughts, what Shimoff termed “negative self-talk,” can consistently reinforce a poor self-image. She gauged the audience’s understanding of the idea by asking self-talkers to raise their hands.
“Those of you who aren’t raising your hand are saying, ‘I don’t know...Do I talk to myself?’” said Shimoff.
With an average of 60,000 thoughts a day, Shimoff said 95 percent of most people’s thoughts repeat themselves daily and 80 percent of those thoughts are negative.
“Everything we think, every emotion we feel effects our bodies,” said Shimoff. “They (thoughts) strengthen or weaken us.”
To illustrate her point, Shimoff used a neuroemotional technique that’s been employed by therapists and homeopathic practitioners. She showed how the technique works using a man and a woman from the audience.
The participants held their non-dominant arm (left arm if right-handed, for example) out and resisted as Shimoff tried to press down on it. Then, she had them repeat negative thoughts out loud, such as “I can’t do it.” When she attempted to press on their arms again, they couldn’t keep their arms up.
The same weakness occurred when the participants lied. Their arms remained straight and lifted, however, when they made positive and uplifting statements or received encouragement.
“When people see the effects thoughts have on their bodies ... that causes them to change,” said Shimoff.
Julie Covington, president of EWI’s Jacksonville chapter, said Shimoff was chosen for this first annual women’s event because she shows women how to achieve their goals without sacrificing their personal life and happiness.
“One of the things that we look at it is trying to maintain that balance,” said Covington. “She really helps to remind us how to do that.”